Mmm… Charbroiled Tapas

II.1 tapah svadhyaya Isvarapranidhanani kriyayogah

Burning zeal in practice, self-study and study of scriptures, and surrender to God are the acts of yoga.

*Sigh* am I still doing yoga if I’m working towards stretching my right hamstring so I can get my pelvis to the floor in Hanumanasana? I guess there’s more to yoga than I originally thought. My mind is certainly avoiding the studying part. I can pick out each averting thought with my thumb and index finger and hold it up disgusted at eye level before I throw it against the wall in disappointment with myself. Then I go back to thinking about what I think I should be doing and waiting  for my body to do it, but it doesn’t do it. The amount of work I want to accomplish ahead of me is exciting but daunting. If I want to advance in my self study, complete my home project before December, become a proficient chanter, maintain a home practice, all while teaching my heart out, I’m going to have to find more zeal to burn.

I’m just tired. Its Friday night, I really don’t want to do my TT homework, but its due time, like months ago. To be fair towards myself, I’ve never had such intense fervour towards something in my life. Its intoxicating, but its more than I normally shotgun. Perhaps I’m expecting too much of myself, but why shoot for any less. I’ve lived my previous years of apathy and sloth, it’s time to get seriously spiritual, word.


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