Buy Your Snob Now and Get Your Second One Free!

Do you find yourself coming out of a yoga class deciding in your head whether you liked or disliked the teacher?

Are you ever holding a pose and thinking in your head, “I would have taught this differently?”

If you’re experiencing critical thoughts, judgmental moods or overall sense of snobbiness towards particular styles of yoga and/or instructors and their ways of teaching, then you’d qualify to become a Yoga Critic for Yoga Review Websites like: http://www.IYDb.com (Internet Yoga Database) and Rotten Yoga.

Join Leo in this 10 year Intensive in becoming the number one Yoga Critic by signing up for his course. Its just 4 easy instalments of $10,000. Sign up now, he’s only taking the best of the best.

Alright, let’s get a bit more serious now. Really, only consider enrolling if you really think you’re hyper critical like me. I’ll walk into a class and any or all the below thoughts will simultaneously occur:

I don’t like the way he speaks.
She going to fast!
This class is really busy, maybe I should teach more like her.
That’s a good sequence, I’m gonna steal it. 

For the readers, I hope you don’t think any less of me. These are fleeting thoughts and their only partially how I truly feel. I can’t help it sometimes, I must be honest, I’m a part-time egomaniac and I haven’t checked with my doctor lately, but I may or may not have multiple personalities.

If I were to blame it on something (because taking responsibility for my actions and feelings would require me to start acting like an adult), I would blame it on the horoscopic astrological Leo in me. Its desire for the limelight, too much makes me a bit too sour to swallow. Its the child in me that screams for attention “Look at what I can do! I’m special! I want it!” Its the Lion in me thats sits on his high throne, too proud to consider the greatness of anyone else. Hold me up like Simba, bring me into the light, but careful not to drop me over the falling cliff.

I’m a fiery guy, my astral chart shows it. (there he goes again, never owning up) I’ve got the burning drive to be the best. I’m an achiever and I succeed. Business school has taught me well. My standards of excellence are of the upmost highest, and in my pursuit of shedding light with my fire, I may have forgotten to surround it with rocks to contain the inner flame. My apologies if I have burnt you, my intention was simply to offer you the very best quality in providing you an even coating, non-radioactive cancer free, tan colour skin.

And to who’s standards am I basing this excellence on anyways? The Sutras of Patanjali? Iyengar’s Light on Yoga? Hardly.

If you want the cream of the crop, top of the top in benchmarking your yogic experience, order this book online at Amazon.com

Guidelines on How to Become a Smug and Self Righteous Yogi – By Leo the Great

I honestly like you, Yoga Teacher, its just that my selfish egocentric part of me makes it difficult to see the Divine in you. The highest in me wants to honour the highest in you, but embracing Namaste to its fullest is a pretty tough task.

You’re unique, you have a cool style and we come from slightly different backgrounds of teaching, its all yoga at the end of the day, no? Forgive me? Awww *hug*

 

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2 responses to “Buy Your Snob Now and Get Your Second One Free!

  1. Karen

    Oh Leo you speak truly in my brain! This is exactly what was running through my head that day I taught to you and our other teachers, “They are probably thinking –

    I don’t like the way (s)he speaks.
    She going to fast!
    etc….

    We all do it, in all situations. It’s great to hear we all do it. This openess helps us to go ahhhhhhhhh

    🙂

  2. Haha! I love your writing style Leo. Makes me smile!!

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