Went into the shower this morning, sneezed into my hand, and out came a decent sized ball of gangly green mucus. I’m sick today.
Not incredibly sick, but fatigued enough to wrap myself with my blanket and veg on a couch. There’s something comforting about a wrapped blanket. Like a burrito. Its like a child’s pose that you can carry around with you and wallow in its warmth. Perhaps that’s why children have their own personalized blankets.
For those sick, prepare yourselves a bowl of homemade carrot-leak & cauliflower soup:
I ended up getting up and going for a walk after hours on the couch. I put on socks and wore my birkenstocks. Go ahead, point a finger in disgust, I don’t care, I’m sick!
I put on my headphones and listened to: The String Quartet Tribute to Radiohead – Street Spirit
Care to take a walk with me through an enchanted forest trail to a nearby lake where I wrote this blog entry? Play for a VERY homemade 3d experience.
My occurring thoughts were these:
Hmm, these trees are amazing… mmm I really like how those leaves hang.
I wonder why I’m sick today, is there a corresponding mental issue that is manifesting through my body?
Perhaps this is a cross roads where I contemplate my teaching. I honestly don’t have true clarity as to why. Is lack-of-a-better-option still a valid answer? It’s outdated and deferring, I know there is one if I dig deeper.
I care deeply about what I do and the people that I teach. That is enough, right? I want to say that my life mission is to help as many people as I can, but frankly I’m still a selfish person and spiritually young, but I aspire to bettering myself.
One thing I am sure of is, teaching does give me a freedom that even the practice itself has yet to evolve to. There is no time to doubt myself, when people are struggling to hold warrior 3, there’s more important things than my petty thoughts. There’s a clarity in the mind and a purity of heart that brings my being into a presence rarely ever experienced through any other everyday activity, and for those reasons, its an addictive fix. It is strong enough that it has compelled me to mature and grow quite drastically (though much work ahead). A majority of everything that I do now is for the sake of this offering, it feels almost creepy and compulsive, albeit refreshing from how I used to live.
I don’t know. Is there even need to think any further, if what I’m doing feels right. Perhaps I’m living an illusion of grandeur and feel there’s need to have profoundness to my life. Isn’t simply following my bliss enough? How did this even become my bliss I’m also not entirely sure. I sometimes feel like I’m on a spiritual conveyer belt. I sort of just hopped on not realizing there’s not any place to get off.
Attention arrivals, for your safety, please hold on to the side rail as you may be shocked at times at where this path may take you. Thank you and have an amazing day.